If I Told You , You Wouldn’t Believe Me

Is my picture showing yet? I hope so. I followed Christina’s instructions.

Mom had a couple of rough days but she’s better today although she is still weak and asked to go lay down just now.

She got her voice back a little so we called Judy early this morning. Jack made bisquits and gravy for his crew at work so that’s what we had for breakfast…sat on the porch while she tried to smoke a cigarette…she gave up finally after I got on her for burning her lap blanket (Not the one Nana made, not the snowman blanky, another one).Came back in, watched TV, finally had a good pee (her not me, I pee just fine ty very much) She asked to go back outside but didn’t try smoking this time. I finished the doofy hat for Malinda, modeled it, then she asked to come in an lay down. I’m taking advantage of the quiet to write a little.

The social worker from hospice came by yesterday with a booklet about death. It’s sad but quite informative. I wanted to share a little from it with you so maybe you’ll understand what’s going on here.

From….Gone From My Sight, the Dying Experience  by Barbara Karnes

Each person approches death in their own way, bringing to this last experiance their own uniqueness. What is listed here is simply a guideline, a road map. Like any map, there are many roads arriving at the same destination, many ways to enter the city.

Use this guideline while remembering there is nothing concrete here: all is very, very flexible. Any one of these signs in this booklet may be present: all may be present: none may be present.

Death comes in its own time, in its own way.

Death is unique as the individual who is experiancing it.

If the following signs were to be put on a timetable, a very flexible timetable, we could say these changes begin one to three months before death occurs. The actual dying process often begins within the two weeks prior to death. There is a shift that occurs within a person that takes them from a mental proccessing of death to a true comprehension and belief of their own mortality. Unforetunately this understanding is not always shared with others.

One to Three Months Prior to Death

1. Withdrawl from the world and people (if you call and she doesn’t want to talk don’t take it personally)
2. Decreased food intake
3. Increase in sleep
4. Going inside self
5. Less communication

One to Two Weeks

1. Disorientation (agitation, talking to the unseen, confusion,picking at clothes)
2. Physical signs (decreased blood pressure, pulse increase or decrease,skin color changes,increased persperation,respiration irregularities, congestion,sleeping but responding, complaints of body tired and heavy, not eating, taking little fluids, body temp hot or cold)

Days or Hours

1. Intensification of one to two weeks’ signs
2. Surge of energy
3. Decrease in blood pressure
4. Eyes glassy, tearing, half open
5. Irregular breathing: stop, start
6. Restlessness or no activity
7. Purplish, blotchy knees,feet hands
8. Pulse weak and hard to find
9. Decreased urine output
10. May wet or stool the bed

Minutes

1. “Fish out of water” breathing
2. Cannot be awakened

(end of quote)

I can’t honestly say I’ve ever been around someone who was dying. It’s hard. I’m much more emotional about it than I thought I would be.  I try not to cry in front of her but I’m sitting here bawling my eyes out right now.